38 Years

Thirty-eight years of sorrow, anxiety, and silent frustration.
Thirty-eight years of watching the water stir, whispering in his soul, “When will it be my turn?”
Thirty-eight years of memories that haunted, regrets that lingered, and laments that never found a voice.

They must have been the longest years of his life—
Watching thousands receive what he longed for.
Watching others, broken like him, lifted by helping hands, while he sat alone, wondering what it would’ve meant to have someone by his side.
The sound of the swirling waters—so familiar,
Each ripple a hymn of healing for others,
But to him, a song of missed chances, of hope fading day by day.

Yet one day—there is always a day.

A man approached and asked him,
“Do you want to be made well?”
But buried beneath the question were thirty-eight years of pain,
And when he answered, it wasn’t just about healing—
It was about finally releasing the ache he had carried for so long.

He said,
“Sir, I have no one to help me into the pool when the water is stirred.
And while I am trying to get in, someone else goes down ahead of me.”

His words were a YES—
A yes wrapped in sorrow, in defeat, in long-forgotten dreams.
A yes soaked in despair.

And the man said to him,
“Rise. Take up your bed. And walk.”
And at that very moment, the healing he had waited a lifetime for came in an instant.

In his excuses, the Healer didn’t just hear complaints—
He heard the YES his heart couldn’t speak aloud.
Therefore, He didn’t ask again.

That Healer was Jesus.
That man was the paralytic at the pool of Bethesda. (John 5:5–9)

Now, I ask you this:

What is that simple question life—or even God—keeps asking you,
To which you reply with excuses,
When all He’s looking for… is your YES?

Is it: Do you want to graduate? Do you want to thrive in your calling?
But maybe your thoughts go:
— “I’m a foreigner here. It’s not possible.”
— “The professors are unfair, they don’t see me.”
— “There’s too much to learn, and it’s all so unclear.”
— “I’m not good enough.”
— “I don’t speak the language well—English, Russian, German… even French.”
— “No one wants me here. I feel invisible.”

Do you want to succeed in business?
But you think:
— “Business is too risky.”
— “What if I fail?”
— “My own people don’t support each other.”

But what if Jesus was stretching out His hand to you—today?
What would you say?
What if your Kairos moment was now?
What if this is the time to take back your life?
What if this is your moment to finally say YES?
And believe in that YES, even if your heart is tired?

Maybe the paralyzed man still believed, deep down…
But what about you?
Do you still believe in what God placed in you?
Do you still believe in the One who called you?

Your path may not look like anyone else’s.
Others may reach their breakthrough at Bethesda. But you? You might rise from a whisper. From a YES God alone can hear.

So, what do you want?
Can you recognize the moment when heaven knocks?

There will always be reasons to complain.
Always something in your way. But never forget the desire in your soul. You’ve carried so much sorrow. What if you finally laid it all at Jesus’s feet?

What if you gave Him the weight that’s crushed you for too long?

As long as your eyes stay fixed on the obstacles, not the One who overcomes them,
You’ll keep circling the same wilderness.

Let me say it again:
Your path is not their path.
But if they could succeed—why not you?

Do you believe in the plans of peace, not harm, that God has for you?
You might succeed where others failed.
And fail where others succeeded.

But yours is a different story.

You—trust your God.
Find your purpose.
And let Him lead.

Let me end with this:
Some say faith is escapism. A way to avoid real life. A refusal to face the hard truth. I understand them. Because they don’t understand. Just like many believers don’t fully understand, either.

To leave everything in God’s hands is not to lie down and do nothing—
It’s to walk forward with peace in your heart,
Knowing you’re not walking alone.
That’s the difference.

Because truly—
Who, by worrying, has added even one hour to their life? (Matthew 6:27)

Of course there’s a difference between someone studying with a powerful connection to help them find a job, and someone who has no one but still studies with all their strength.
But as the saying goes:
“You are someone because you have Someone.”
And my Someone—
Is Jesus.

God loves you.